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How Do I Get My Kids To Cooperate?

How can you use the Love and Logic skill of enforceable statements to get kids to cooperate?

When kids hear “No,” they hear fighting words. Their defenses come up and the battle starts. So instead of saying “No,” say “Yes” to something else. Say what you’ll do, what you’ll allow, or what you have control over.

Think of what you do for your kids and what they want from you. That’s what you have control over. You decide when you give the snack, read the story, take them to the park — after they have picked up toys, finished their dinner, brushed their teeth, etc.

Instead of giving the command: “Brush your teeth”
Say: “I read stories to kids who brush their teeth.”

Instead of saying: “No, you can’t have a snack.  You haven’t picked up your toys yet.”
Say: “I give snacks to kids who’ve picked up their toys.”

Instead of saying: “Stop whining!”
Say: “I listen to kids who use their words.”

Instead of saying: “No, you can’t go to the park. You haven’t taken your nap yet.”
Say:  “Yes, I’ll take you to the park, after your nap.”

You’ll be surprised at how well enforceable statements work to get cooperation from your children.  We’d love to know which one works best for you!

Shelly Moorman
©2009 Shelly Moorman, Head & Heart Parents

Head & Heart Parents is owned by Kerry Stutzman, MSW, a Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Love and Logic Parenting Instructor. In addition to private therapy and parent consulting services, Kerry offers parenting classes and workshops in Denver and the surrounding areas for toddlers, elementary, and teenage children.

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.