Denver Parenting Classes | Parent Coaching | Family Therapy

All the Other Kids Get to Do It!

If your kids are old enough to talk, you’ve probably heard things like:
“Jackie’s parents let her watch anything on TV she wants to.”
“Mandy gets to have her computer in her room. Like…this is the 21st century.”

Some of us have even heard horrifying things like:
“Robert’s parents buy him beer for his parties. What’s the big deal?” or…
“Michelle’s mom doesn’t care if her boyfriend spends the night in her room. Her mom trusts her.”

My message for this week is a simple one:

Our kids learn to resist peer pressure by seeing us do it.

If we back down when our kids argue, manipulate and try to use guilt, they’re far more likely to do the same when their friends turn up the heat.

One of the handiest involves responding to arguments by calmly repeating the same loving one–liner such as:
“I love you too much to argue”
“Probably so”
“What did I say?”
“I argue at 6 a.m. on Saturdays” My personal favorite for the teen years.

Doing this will make them mad in the short term, while teaching them how to live happier, healthier lives in the long term.


Dr. Charles Fay
©2009 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Ph.d.& Love and Logic® Institute

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Head & Heart Parents is owned by Kerry Stutzman, MSW, a Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Love and Logic Parenting Instructor. In addition to private therapy and parent consulting services, Kerry offers parenting classes and workshops in Denver and the surrounding areas for toddlers, elementary, and teenage children.

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.

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