Head & Heart Parents

First, it is important that children contribute to the household. Not only does it send an important message to our children – “You are a valuable member of this family and we count on you to make our family function” – but it gives them a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.  Studies also show that [...]

On my kids’ first day of school this year, I first dropped off my high schooler. Gasp. How can I have a kid that old? I always thought being the parent of a high schooler was for grownups! Heck, I remember when I thought that having a child in elementary school was for grownups. As [...]

For parents who deal with children being obstinate, defiant and challenging, here are a few thoughts on power struggles: If we deal with resistance by struggling back, not only will we damage our relationship with our kids and set them up to be rebellious, but we will be very frustrated.  It is a child’s JOB [...]

How does a wise parent respond when his/her youngster says, “My teacher is mean!”? Because we care deeply for our kids, there are two traps that are far too easy to slip into: Trap #1: Mary’s well-meaning mom says, “Don’t worry, honey, I’ll give her a call and get this straightened out.” Is Mary learning [...]

When we’ve got a seriously underachieving youngster, it’s awfully tempting to resort to taking away all sorts of things in a desperate attempt to motivate them to do their schoolwork. Sadly, this often backfires, leading the child to become even more resistant about learning. Most of us wouldn’t feel that motivated if our spouse said, [...]

Kendra and Mom were walking through the mall when Kendra spied the most “spectacular” pair of dark glasses. “Oh, Mom, they are perfect. They’re just what I need to complete my collection of eyeware. I’ve got to have them, but I don’t have the money. Will you loan me some? Pleeese! I’ll pay you back.” [...]

“Mom, I lost my jacket,” my almost 12 year old son told me. “What? Grandma just gave that to you last week,” I accusingly replied.  ”Where did you last wear it?  Have you looked in your room?” “How could you have lost it?”  I ranted on. Then I caught myself.  Whose problem is this?  What happened to my [...]

If your kids are old enough to talk, you’ve probably heard things like: “Jackie’s parents let her watch anything on TV she wants to.” “Mandy gets to have her computer in her room. Like…this is the 21st century.” Some of us have even heard horrifying things like: “Robert’s parents buy him beer for his parties. [...]

Over the past two decades, video and computer games have become dramatically more fast-paced, realistic, and stimulating. Not long after their introduction, I began to suspect that these games had the same addictive potential as drugs, alcohol, and gambling. Today, family therapists and researchers have confirmed my fears. Listed below are some tips for helping [...]

Our world is getting more complex and dangerous for kids every day. How do we best protect them so that they will survive? Resist the urge to overprotect! Like vaccinations for physical disease, parents who apply Love and Logic allow their kids to develop decision-making “antibodies” by being exposed to plenty of small temptations, by [...]