Related posts:

Related posts:

Related posts:

Related posts:

Related posts:

A dad I work with had to take his three young sons to a long, boring meeting in an attorney’s office. He was sweating it because his boys were likely to act up.

To inspire them to great behavior, he offered the reward of “Candy for dinner and movies till you fall asleep!”

Now THAT was motivation to these three! (Not to mention a desperate parent.) On the way there, he upped the odds of their success by playing “What If” and asking what things might keep them from earning their reward. The oldest brother speculated that the middle brother might “make me mad.” They talked through how the oldest could manage that. They went through a variety of scenarios so that the boys would know how to handle themselves.

Once in the office, he broke the hour and half into six chunks of 15 minutes each. For each 15 minutes that they went with good behavior, they earned a point. Four points earned them the dinner of their dreams… candy. Those boys may not have been able to get through 90 minutes perfectly, but they were angels for almost every one of those 15-minute chunks and they got their reward. Don’t worry, dad had to pay the next day with grumpy, tired boys… but he got through the meeting intact.

Kerry Stutzman, MSW
©2013 Kerry Stutzman, Head & Heart Parents

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.

Related posts:

Last night I got approximately 3 hours of sleep.

My bedroom was the arena for a battle of epic proportions with a two-month old who was so miserably tired but would not succumb to the most wonderful thing of all – beautiful, blissful sleep.

I now have so much work to do I could cry. My daughter lies protesting in my arms because I had to remove my hand from her back to type these very lines. (Note: as soon as I put both hands back on her, she is fine. So basically, anything that occupies both of my hands and prevents me from working is what will keep her content.)

In addition to taking care of a newborn, and trying to work 40 hours from home, and doing my taxes, and running all the errands, and keeping the laundry done, and the house clean, I have to try and find time to sleep – which usually amounts to a few hours a night , but only if I want to forfeit making any money that day.

So those moms out there, with one baby and a partner that brings home all the bacon – know that you have it so good. Your life can revolve around the joyful task of loving your baby and taking care of your other half. Revel in the wonderful situation you have. Cuddle that baby when they’re crying and say to them “All I have to do in the world right now is to love you.” How sweetly wonderful.

©2013 Roxann Blue Head & Heart Parents

Related posts:

After tucking in his three young boys, a single dad walked into the kitchen to find the fridge and freezer doors both wide open with a chair in front of the shelves.

It had been his 3 year old in search of an apple an hour earlier. In our parent coaching session the next day, the dad asked me whether or not it was too late to address the issue a day later. I said that kids can remember consequences for about as long as they can remember a promise.

The dad went home and politely explained to his son the importance of closing the refrigerator door. To make sure the lesson stuck, he had his son “practice” closing the refrigerator door. To keep it fun, the 3 year old had to do it differently each time, so he did it backwards and on his tippy toes and like a ballerina and like a bulldozer. He did it with his eyes closed and he did after spinning in circles.

Think about what this dad did… the next time that boy opens the fridge door, he’ll remember to close it AND he’ll remember the fun and playfulness he had with his dad. That refrigerator will probably be closed with love and happiness for the rest of this boy’s life.


Kerry Stutzman, MSW
©2012 Kerry Stutzman, Head & Heart Parents

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.

Related posts:

I had found some recipes to help the boys use their creative juices and love for cooking to actually contribute to our table this week. Today was our third recipe. Apple turnovers.

They sat complete and delicious-looking on the stove. Around dinner time, as I was finishing up my baby daughter’s bath, the older boys had started eating their meal, and I hear my husband Matt say, “Tate, you need to go upstairs and ask Mommy what the consequence should be. And if she doesn’t have one, I will give you one, but it won’t be a nice one.”

Our three year-old Tate came upstairs, and told me that he had peed on the wall that holds up the table. (Translation: the wall under the island in the kitchen.) As he said it, he kind of looked sad, then he kind of looked happy… it made me think he wasn’t exactly sorry. At this point, I was glad that Matt wasn’t giving him a consequence, that it was someone who could be slightly more emotionally removed from the incident. Because if it had been me watching the peeing, I would have been furious!

Calmly, I told him he needed to sit on his bed and put his underwear on, I’d be back in 5 minutes when the timer went off. Five minutes went by, I went to get him, he ate dinner, etc. At the end of dinner, I dished out servings of apple turnovers, minus one for Tate’s poor decision. I even put a little Cool Whip on his brother’s portion. Tate sauntered over and said, “Mommy is this one for me?” with a smile on his face. Matt and I looked at each other and braced ourselves for what was about to happen.

“Tate, I would have loved to give you an apple turnover for dessert, but only little boys who don’t pee on the wall get apple turnover.” Immediately he was defeated. He started wailing. He fell on his bottom and just cried. I went over to him, feeling very sad myself, and picked him up. “Oh buddy, I am so sad.” And this is the thing that I did not expect: In between his sobs, he cried, “Me too…maybe next time…maybe next time…”

I broke down crying! I couldn’t help it! He knew he had made a bad decision and he was so sad. He couldn’t get that decision back. He told me he was sleepy and wanted me to take him to bed. Crying, crying.

Sometimes parenting with love hurts.

Related posts:

So, why do I feel this way? Well, at 7 weeks old, I thought my baby would at least make the slightest differentiation between a stranger and myself. I mean, I had read somewhere that babies know their moms voice and smell within the first hours. Here I was (let me do the math.. 36 days x 24 hours…) over 800 hours into our time together and I always got the same confused, furrowed brow as if to say, “..and, you are..?”

Then there was the crying. Oh how she cried and cried, fussy and fighting sleep for hours on end.

I would look into her sweet, red, turmoil ridden face and coo with all the love in the world beaming out of my eyes, and she would just wail and wail.

We were just getting to know each other and I was making a pretty terrible first impression.

This did weigh on my mind over the next few days. Maybe sometimes newborns just don’t like their parents. I mean, it’s common for teenagers to dislike their parents, so maybe my child was just really advanced for her age.

Though to this very day (8 weeks old) I am still not convinced she likes me very much, I continue to do the only things I know how: I feed her lovingly, I talk to her sweetly, I massage her gently, and hope for the best.

©2013 Roxann Blue Head & Heart Parents

Related posts: