Head & Heart Parents

After tucking in his three young boys, a single dad walked into the kitchen to find the fridge and freezer doors both wide open with a chair in front of the shelves. It had been his 3 year old in search of an apple an hour earlier. In our parent coaching session the next day, [...]

First, it is important that children contribute to the household. Not only does it send an important message to our children – “You are a valuable member of this family and we count on you to make our family function” – but it gives them a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.  Studies also show that [...]

Three year old Wes used to play his favorite game at bedtime. It was called, “See how many ways I can be naughty.” He was the only one enjoying the game. His single, working dad certainly did not. Wes was very creative in how he played the game: he ran away when it was time [...]

Little kids want to be big kids, and parents can leverage that desire to get cooperation when behavior problems arise. In one example, 4-year-old Emma’s mom asked her to blow her nose. “No!” Emma shouted. Remembering how important it was for Emma to feel like a big kid, Mom said, “Oh, that’s right, I know [...]

It seems that just about every family has at least one child who spends most of his time trying to figure out what others want.. so that he can do exactly the opposite. Frustrated by their testy behavior, it’s pretty darn easy to fall into less than effective parenting practices. I hear some of these [...]

My son, Robert, and his girlfriend, Jenna, were here last night. Jenna asked me what I was reading, so I did a quick explanation of the updated version of Parenting with Love and Logic. After hearing this explanation, my son said, “So that’s who is to blame!” I laughed and asked innocently what he meant. [...]

How can you use the Love and Logic skill of enforceable statements to get kids to cooperate? When kids hear “No,” they hear fighting words. Their defenses come up and the battle starts. So instead of saying “No,” say “Yes” to something else. Say what you’ll do, what you’ll allow, or what you have control over. [...]

Okay, I guess the title of this week’s tip is a bit perplexing. So is the whole subject of potty training little tykes who’ve developed “throne aversion syndrome.” Once this sad condition takes hold, the resulting power-struggles can be enough to bring even the strongest adult to their knees. If you’re beginning to fight with [...]

One mom was at the park with her 2.5 year-old son named Foster.  He was heading down to the lake to play and Mom said, “Come and eat lunch or we’ll have to go home.”  He ignored Mom and walked towards the water. So Mom said, “So sad, looks like we have to go home [...]

In a study mentioned by Daniel Goleman in his classic book Emotional Intelligence, researchers studied two sets of kids. One group was able to delay gratification, the other satisfied their wants right away. All of the kids had a choice about a tasty marshmallow set before them. When the experimenter left the room, they could [...]