Head & Heart Parents

We don’t have to convince our kids that we have valid reasons for saying NO. It’s ok to “Just say no.” Recent text stream between mom and 14 year old son: Kid: Can I go to chad’s after school Mom: No Kid: Y Mom: Insufficient grades, make up work to do. Application to complete. Oh, [...]

An experienced mother shares what she wishes she would have known about holiday traditions when her kids were young When my sons were little, I was so excited to live out my fantasies of being a great mommy who created Norman Rockwell-ish holidays. Since the time I was old enough to play with Barbies, I [...]

First, it is important that children contribute to the household. Not only does it send an important message to our children – “You are a valuable member of this family and we count on you to make our family function” – but it gives them a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.  Studies also show that [...]

When we’ve got a seriously underachieving youngster, it’s awfully tempting to resort to taking away all sorts of things in a desperate attempt to motivate them to do their schoolwork. Sadly, this often backfires, leading the child to become even more resistant about learning. Most of us wouldn’t feel that motivated if our spouse said, [...]

Kendra and Mom were walking through the mall when Kendra spied the most “spectacular” pair of dark glasses. “Oh, Mom, they are perfect. They’re just what I need to complete my collection of eyeware. I’ve got to have them, but I don’t have the money. Will you loan me some? Pleeese! I’ll pay you back.” [...]

If your kids are old enough to talk, you’ve probably heard things like: “Jackie’s parents let her watch anything on TV she wants to.” “Mandy gets to have her computer in her room. Like…this is the 21st century.” Some of us have even heard horrifying things like: “Robert’s parents buy him beer for his parties. [...]

Over the past two decades, video and computer games have become dramatically more fast-paced, realistic, and stimulating. Not long after their introduction, I began to suspect that these games had the same addictive potential as drugs, alcohol, and gambling. Today, family therapists and researchers have confirmed my fears. Listed below are some tips for helping [...]

It might be comforting to know that you don’t have to be able to provide a good reason for saying no to your kids. Our kids are not our supervisors. If something doesn’t feel right to you, that’s a good enough reason to say no. The best parents have the courage to say no when [...]

Many of us have the idea that we need to deliver immediate consequences when our children misbehave. That misconception can lead to many problems for the parent and the child. As a parent, when we react with anger to our child’s misbehavior and shoot off the first thing that comes into our head, e.g., “That’s [...]

In the mid 1960′s a few parenting “experts” began to question whether we ought to say this word to our children. Some worried that it would damage kids’ self-concepts. Others seemed concerned that it would stifle creativity. Kids need to hear “No” from time to time. Listed below are some practical guidelines:     •  Say “No” only [...]