Category: Elementary

“I Want More Milk!”

I poured my daughter a bowl of cereal with PLENTY of milk. When she asked for more milk, I said, “No, you have more than enough.”

Of course she started whining.  I went brain dead!

She started screaming “I want more milk!!!” and I said in the sweetest, singsongy voice I could muster, “I know.”  This went on for about a minute, back and forth until I took her by the hand and led her to her room, saying “Feel free to come out and eat your breakfast when you’re done screaming.” She sat in there for about two minutes and then came out quietly, sat down at the table and ate her breakfast!!!

The most wonderful part was that I felt so calm and loving toward her the whole time!  I never felt angry.  If this had happened the day before class I would have been gritting my teeth, ready to throw her in the backyard with no shoes on.  THEN, when we got to school, she slowly got out of the car, I gave her a big hug and kiss and said have a great day, she looked at me and said “Mommy, I’m sorry for screaming about the milk.”

WOW.

Shelly Moorman
©2009 Shelly Moorman, Head & Heart Parents

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Head & Heart Parents is owned by Kerry Stutzman, MSW, a Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Love and Logic Parenting Instructor. In addition to private therapy and parent consulting services, Kerry offers parenting classes and workshops in Denver and the surrounding areas for toddlers, elementary, and teenage children.

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.

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Limit Screen Time and Encourage the Act of “Doing” with Your Child

What does your child ask when bored? Is it, “I’m bored. What can I do?” or is it, “I’m bored. What can I watch?”

If it is the latter, you are raising a future watcher, not a future doer. And if this is the case, my heart goes out to your child. Becoming a watcher is not a recipe for future happiness and productivity.

Brain research shows that the brains of doers and the brains of watchers are different as a result of the way that person spends his/her time.

Do your kids a big favor and restrict electronic entertainment to 30 minutes per day. Turn your child’s bedroom into a bedroom instead of a multi-media entertainment center.

Take the TV out of the child’s room, and put the computer in a public area of the house. This is not illegal. It is the act of a responsible parent. If you have any doubts, read the works of researchers such as Dr. Stanley Greenspan.

When your child complains about this, answer with, “I know it’s hard, but I’m your parent. It’s my job.”


Jim Fay
©2009 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Ph.d.& Love and Logic® Institute

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Head & Heart Parents is owned by Kerry Stutzman, MSW, a Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Love and Logic Parenting Instructor. In addition to private therapy and parent consulting services, Kerry offers parenting classes and workshops in Denver and the surrounding areas for toddlers, elementary, and teenage children.

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.

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“Did You Do Drugs?”

“Hey, Mom. Did you and Dad do drugs when you were young?”

Look out, parents! This is not a simple question. This is a kid looking for some leverage and a way to get some tacit approval for drug use. This is a kid looking for the opportunity to say, “Well you did it too.”

If you didn’t use drugs it is a great chance to explain why you didn’t. If you did, you might want to consider this reply. “Yes, I was very foolish and tried some drugs. But I was lucky to have people who showed me what they were doing to me. I saw my friends having horrible problems. Their grades went down. Their family lives were in shambles, and two of them died of overdoses. Then one day I realized that I wanted a family some day, and I thought how humiliated I would be to have to honestly talk about how foolish I was. So that’s why I quit and why I hope you never have to be as humiliated as I am when your own kids ask this question.”


Jim Fay
©2009 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Ph.d.& Love and Logic® Institute

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Head & Heart Parents is owned by Kerry Stutzman, MSW, a Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Love and Logic Parenting Instructor. In addition to private therapy and parent consulting services, Kerry offers parenting classes and workshops in Denver and the surrounding areas for toddlers, elementary, and teenage children.

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.

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Giving Choices Can Be Fun!

I almost always do a lousy job of giving choices when I’m tired, frustrated, and trying to think of them on the spot. Are you like me?


I’ve seen how much smoother life becomes when I give appropriate choices…but for some reason I get out of the habit.

Someone gave me a gift! She walked up to me at one of my seminars and shared this little nugget of wisdom:

I make giving choices into a game for myself. It’s fun when I plan ahead. First, I think, “What things will my kids try to fight me on tomorrow?” Then I look at my list. You see, I keep a list of Love and Logic choices folded up under my alarm clock. I just pick a couple. Then I imagine how much nicer my kids will act when I give these choices the next day.

It’s true! Any technique is more fun and effective when we plan ahead and look forward to our kids acting up…so that we can use it.


Dr. Charles Fay
©2009 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Ph.d.& Love and Logic® Institute

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Head & Heart Parents is owned by Kerry Stutzman, MSW, a Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Love and Logic Parenting Instructor. In addition to private therapy and parent consulting services, Kerry offers parenting classes and workshops in Denver and the surrounding areas for toddlers, elementary, and teenage children.

As author of the easy-to-read “Save Your Sanity” series, Kerry helps parents save their sanity and sense of humor while raising young children with love and laughter.

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